THIRTEEN TERRIBLE STUNTS
═══ Preface ═══
Welcome to the world's craziest stunt show!
You're a professional stunt performer hired to complete 13 "allegedly" impossible stunt challenges. The producers say these stunts are "simple."
They lied.
These stunts are not only difficult, but... terribly bad. But since you've signed the contract (and taken the money), you have no choice but to go through with it.
═══ Instructions ═══
▸ Basic Controls
[←→] Left/Right arrow keys - Control movement/steering
[↑] Up arrow key - Accelerate/Jump
[↓] Down arrow key - Brake/Crouch
[R] Restart current level
▸ Game Objective
- Complete all 13 stunt challenges
- Each stunt has specific completion conditions
- Time isn't the issue, but gravity is
- Failed? No worries, stunt performers always have doubles
═══ Stunt List ═══
【WARNING: Do NOT attempt these stunts in real life】
Stunt 01: "Basic Jump"
→ Difficulty: ★☆☆☆☆
→ Just a normal jump...NOT
→ Tip: Calculate landing timing
Stunt 02-05: [Graded Unlock]
→ Difficulty: ★★☆☆☆
→ Starting to get interesting
→ Tip: Physics inertia is your enemy
Stunt 06-09: [Advanced Challenge]
→ Difficulty: ★★★☆☆
→ Now you understand why they're called "terrible"
→ Tip: Sometimes slow is better than fast
Stunt 10-12: [Expert Level]
→ Difficulty: ★★★★☆
→ This is beyond human capability
→ Tip: Prayer and repeated practice
Stunt 13: "Ultimate Challenge"
→ Difficulty: ★★★★★
→ If you completed this, please contact us
→ We want to know how you cheated
═══ Laws of Physics (Your Enemy) ═══
- Gravity: Always holding you back
- Friction: Want to stop? Not so easy
- Momentum: The faster you run, the harder you fall
- Reaction Force: Every action has a cost
═══ N Ways to Fail ═══
- Fall off cliff ✓
- Crash into wall ✓
- Get stuck in weird places ✓
- Perfect jump...wrong direction ✓
- Too many spins in the air ✓
- Various other embarrassing deaths ✓
═══ Secrets to Success ═══
» Secret #1: Die More Times - Every failure is a learning opportunity (probably)
» Secret #2: Don't Rush - Impatience only makes you die faster
» Secret #3: Observe Environment - Every level has a "correct" path
» Secret #4: Control Speed - Sometimes walking is safer than running
» Secret #5: Accept Failure - It's part of the game
═══ Grading System ═══
Completion Time → Determines your rank
- S Grade: Professional stunt performer
- A Grade: Talented amateur
- B Grade: Lucky ordinary person
- C Grade: Barely survived
- D Grade: At least you're alive?
═══ Safety Notice ═══
⚠ Stunt actions in the game performed by virtual stunt performers
⚠ Do NOT attempt in real life
⚠ Serious physical injuries may result in game character death
⚠ Production crew not responsible for any medical expenses
⚠ Remember: You're just acting
═══ Behind the Scenes ═══
Producer said: "We want a game about stunts."
Designer said: "Let's make the physics system super realistic."
Tester said: "This is impossible to complete!"
Producer said: "That's the point."
And thus, a "terrible" game was born.
═══ Technical Info ═══
Engine: Custom physics engine
File Size: <13KB
Physics Accuracy: Incredibly realistic
Difficulty: Incredibly high
Player Blood Pressure: Rising...
═══ Developer's Confession ═══
"We know this game is hard. We know some stunts seem impossible. We know players will curse our names.
But that's what challenge means.
When you finally complete the 13th stunt, Standing at the pinnacle of victory...
That sense of achievement is priceless.
(Or you'll just uninstall the game, which is understandable)"
═══ For Those Who Persevere ═══
If you truly completed all 13 stunts, Congratulations!
You're now a true (virtual) stunt master!
Your name will be recorded in game history... Well, actually there's nothing.
But at least you can brag about how awesome you are.
Now, put on your stunt suit, Prepare to fall a hundred times...
Let the show begin!